SA: Case Closed

25 december

Its been about three weeks now since I've been back. And I've been telling myself that I need to finish posting things to my SA blog and make a last post. I haven't necessarily been procrasinating...just holding off. Not wanting to officially close the chapter. I mean obvisouly I've been home long enough to see that its over..but ending the blog is kind of like really closing the case. I wanted to write a last blog to sum up the things that I learned during my experience. Although I didn't write about every detail of my experience, I can say that every positive, negative, frustrating or enjoyable event made my time overseas defintely worthwhile.There was a lot I wanted to blog about race relations in SA, BEE, the educational system, the music, and so much more. One thing I do want to point out. I like the outdoors more than I thought. For those who know me, I've never considered myself an "outdoors person." But the beach, the mountains...it was all so beautiful there. I really miss looking out my window at the beach.

But as I was writing this last post some things that came to my head mostly of what I was able to get out of my experience, and also year since the end is coming soon to 2011. So just wanted to wrap it up with some things that I noticed, considered, and learned. This experience will forever be a very crucial time in my life, where I was able to grow and learn. I hope you enjoyed everything that was posted. I appreciate all those who followed me along on this journey. I am grateful. 

1. To have an opporunity to trave, outside my comfort zone defintely showed me that I have a comfort zone when it comes to interaction with people  that I stick to
2. I'm always thinking of things I want to ask...but I don't always ask those questions
3. I can't change things that have happened in my past relationships. I have to accept them as things that HAD happened and needed to happen in order for me to learn something
4. Everything happens for a reason—I use to say this so much that I don't think I knew why I said it. I had come to a point where I didn't believe in this saying anymore. It was defintely a testing time. And I realized though, that although I cannot always see it in front of me things do happen for a reason. And when I learn a lesson, I need to nuture that lesson and try not to forget, or I may end up in a circular motion, experiencing the same challenges over and over
5. Love cannot be purely an emotin/feeling. Needs some mind to it and defintely a strong heart
6. Sometimes when I listen to my heart, I end up hurt. I still dont know if I prefer the hurt or if thinking 'what if' is easier. It's defintely less painful I think
7. Everyones has a story, and we can never fully understand it all. And I don't think we have to in order appreciate it as their own
8. There is a difference between tolerance and acceptance
9. I love differences in people (cultures, languages, skin, hair, food). I don't think downplaying differences in others is the way to go. Yes I agree we are all one race, but I we can accept that without diminishing the importance of differences between us either
10. I need to forgive myself more
11. When you love someone at their worst...that really means something
12. Fake, cruel, selfish people are everywhere, that doesn't mean I should let them make me into a fake, cruel or selfish person
13. Sometimes people just smell bad. Hygiene is very important
14. Almost everything is easier said than done...especially from an outside perspective or from a distance
15. When you hold in years and years of feelings/emotions...it comes out at some point, and it comes out randomly and with strength
16. A walk on the beach really does calm things down
17. Flattery is just hot air
18. Trusting people is hard for me because i'm scared of history repeating itsself from past family experiences...I'm working on it
19. Being older and watching childrens movies is not the same...wish I could watch them through a child's eyes again
20. I really really like ethiopian food
21. Being black is hard everywhere you go...even in Africa (didn't expect this)
22. It's easy to look and someone elses life and say 'why did they do that? Why did they stay? I would never do that. I would have letf'...when its personal, you start making excuses for yourself
23. Still trying to figure out if I prefer attachment or detachment--either way is an extreme
24. I'm definitely a dancer at heart. Rhythmn is in me :]
25. “Heartache is a sign that the heart is working”..i agree
26. Cadbury chocolate is a piece of heaven..Sorry Hershey's you've been beat
27. When bad things happen to us...time doesn't stop or rewind as much as we wish it could
28. From observaton...social network sites seem to be destroying people's lives...I'm drastically minimizing my interactions this coming year
29. Everything isn't black or white; bad or good. Especially people, we are all things considered good or bad at a certain time
    
    
    Thanks again for all who are still reading! :]

28 November

Wrote my last exam today. It's been a crazy couple days. With people leaving and wanting to see everyone but still needing to study its been hard to focus. But I made it through and I'm finally done with finals. Going home in 3 days. Seems unreal. To go back. It's not that I don't miss home, or miss my family like crazy. It's just that I feel like I'm leaving parts of myself here. Like I was able to be more me here. Where the burden of others expectations aren't always hanging over my head. But everything must come to and end. And I will be forever greateful for the opporunity to experience everything I did. 

Exams

19 november

Today I wrote my frist exam (yes on a Saturday). I had to wake up extra early becase I needed to catch a taxi and sometimes those things are so unreliable so I wanted to make sure I was on time. I could barely sleep because I was scared I would be late. But I ended up getting a taxi just in time. When I got on campus I had to walk an extra 10-25 just to get to the place I was suppose to take the test, which was the Sports Venue.

Luckily a girl from one of my classes walked me to campus yesterday to show me because I wasn't paying attention on the campus tour.

So you go there and its basically a gym, but with rooms. It's hard to explain. So there's a piece of paper telling you which room you will write in. All the desks are set up in straight rows and they check your id before you walk in. So I got a seat and hten the guy explains how much time we have and all the basics. They had out a scantron sheet, which we fill out. Then he hands out the exam and there's a sheet at the back that we have to sign to say that we are the person taking the test and all that. Then in the middle of the exam they walk around and collect it, and check ids. And you have to stay in the exam at leat 1 hour. You aren't allowed to leave before the one hour mark.

Someone told me that they once had someone take an exam for them. I don't know how they did it with the whole checking id thing. But I guess there's always a way to beat the system.

The exam was 3 long essay questions and 20 multiple choice questions. It wasn't htat bad, but the worst part is actually writing the exam. It takes so long. And my fingers always get cramped. And I feel like my pinky will fall off (yes literally).

But I got through it and it wasn't that bad. I know I did well. So one down and two more to go. The other two are my harder classes, International Marketing and Organizational Behavior.